Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a squirrel near my feet, as I looked down it suddenly stopped before scurrying away into the distance. There was complete silence around me except for the rippling sounds coming from the brook near by. Letting out a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to the events of the past few days.
Events that I would rather forget and put behind me once and for all. I knew I had decisions to make, important ones at that. I was also aware that I could no longer continue in the way I had been going. The road I was going down was going to be long and hard where challenges and trials were going to come up time and time again. I had to face them, I knew that! I also knew that now was the time to start letting go of me and allow You to be in total control of my life otherwise I would continue falling. I could no longer allow this to happen. I had to be strong and accept my identity in You. This was the time for me to start growing up and to mature. It was time to start standing on Your word, to commit myself and my life totally to You.
As I continued leaning against the tree, I heard this still small voice which seemed to come from nowhere saying “the joy of the Lord is your strength” I wasn’t sure if I was imagining this but it came again, clearer this time and then the words “Don’t let the devil steal your joy”. I let these words wash over me again and again, I couldn’t move and besides which it seemed in appropriate to do anything.
Finally after what seemed an age, I opened my eyes and realised tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t care and just allowed the tears to fall. I slid down against the tree and sank down onto the ground. Burying my head in my hands I just sobbed allowing all the pent up emotions within me to be released. Tears of pain hurt and anguish that had been locked up inside me for months – it was time to let go and a time of healing to start taking place in my life!
After awhile the sobbing ceased and I sank back against the tree, looking around I noticed the drooping branches and realised I was sat under a weeping willow. Quite appropriate for this moment in time I thought. I felt as if the branches were protecting me and that this was the place of sanctuary I needed for this time where I could remain oblivious to everything and everyone around me.
I felt this peace wash over me and I just remained there not wanting to move or interrupt what was happening. I couldn’t bring myself to move so continued sitting there under the weeping willow. I had no idea how long I had been here for but when I finally looked at my watch, I couldn’t believe the time. Where had the past hour gone?
I sighed and finally after a few moments, I eased myself up off the ground and started making my way home with a new purpose and spring in my step. I knew that no matter what lay ahead that I could and would allow You to take control of every area of my life. I would face whatever challenges came up no matter how hard or difficult. I would give myself totally over to You.
